October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

dom violence

Not much needs to be said. Let’s all take a stand to end Domestic Violence.  I’ve written an article on my blog about my own personal experience, specifically dealing with emotional and verbal abuse though I have seen physical abuse in my family. If you or anyone you know, needs some inspiration, please feel free to share my post with them. God bless you all. -Videllia

Read:  “These Are My Thin Mints”

I wonder…

  I wrote this post several months ago but was very hesitant about posting it.  It is very different from what I usually post but I think this needs to be said. So here goes…

Tramp. Slut. Bopper.  Breezy. Skank. Witch. Trick. Easy-Access. Dirty. Prostitute. One Night Stand.  Shawty. Emotional. Sensitive. Fake. Two-Faced. Drama Queen.  Materialistic.  Broad. Baby Mama.  Thirsty.  Bitter. Stuck-up. Main Chick. Side Chick (why can’t it just be the only chick?). Ugly. Fat. Wh-re. B*tch.


What if it were…

Beautiful. Queen. Woman of God.  Proverbs 31 Woman. Magnificent. Gorgeous. Intellectual. Smart. Ambitious. Goals-Driven. Sexy. Princess. Pure. Pretty.  Attractive. Intelligent………..WIFEY…..(yeah, you ladies gone ahead and think about that one-a side chick doesn’t become a wife-I’m just saying-but you’ll have to wait for my next blog about that side chick mentality…)

Okay, how about this?

Fool. Good for Nothing. Baby Daddy. Broke. Lame. Ain’t Good for Sh*t. Punk. Lazy. Stupid. Never Amount to Anything. Dog. Liar. Cheater. Pimp. Crackhead. Drug Dealer. Ugly. Fat.  Boring.

What if it were…

Handsome. Smart. Real Man. Genuine. Man of God.  Man after God’s own heart. Good person.  Nice. Kind. Smooth. A King. Sexy. Fine. Intelligent. Good-looking. Powerful.  Friend. Father (not baby daddy).

e98a737e00eeac6e983c86bf879dea4fYou see all of the above words are negative connotations that I have heard throughout my lifetime that are associated with both men and women.  I couldn’t even think of or list all the words that I’ve ever heard someone say about a woman or a man but the fact is these are things we say TO each other AND about each other. I’m sure we are all guilty of saying something like this to our friends about someone else (even if it’s meant as a joke).  I wonder how different the world would be if we started associating some of these negative images with more positive words, more words of affirmations…how different would our culture be?

Maybe that would mean fewer men behind bars. Or perhaps fewer women selling their bodies on the streets.  Or even fewer kids getting bullied at school.

Or what about fewer men killing their spouses.  Or fewer women being comfortable being a side chick.  Or even fewer kids dropping out of school.

Hmm…maybe it would mean fewer men on drugs.  Or fewer women settling for abusive relationships. Or fewer kids running away from home.

Still…what if it meant fewer hate crimes? Fewer deaths? What it meant life, love, liberty, joy, and happiness among our nation?

Wow. What difference a positive word could make huh?

The bible says “life and death lies in the power of our tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).  Dang. By that measure, I (and probably you) should have already been convicted of murder. GUILTY is what the judge would say.  Guilty of murder.  Yes, murder! I mean, we basically murder each other every day just through the words we say…

How different would the world be if we learned to lift each other up through our words, instead of tear each other down?

I wonder…




Domestic Violence: Ray and Janay Rice

This will be an extremely short post. No need to rehash all the details of the story or the incident.  If you don’t know what’s going on, just do a quick Google search for Ray Rice.  I’m not here to combat the facts of the story or to bash Ray Rice (though I do not condone violence in any form).  However, I am voicing my opinion on the comments his wife made today.

I have to say this because it’s bothering me. Many of y’all are talking about the Ray Rice situation and what his wife said. First of all, you don’t know that situation or know his wife. Stop calling her stupid, dumb, etc. Victims of domestic violence do not feel stupid while being in that situation. And frankly, if you have never been a victim of domestic violence, you don’t know how it feels.   It’s not an easy process to get out of an abusive relationship. You have to build up strength and courage and change your mentality. It requires a lot of work!  Though I wasn’t physically abused, I suffered from an emotionally abusive relationship (which you can read here) . However, I’m the Valedictorian of my high school class, graduated with a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, have my CPA license, and a whole lot of other accolades. Do you also think I am stupid? Maybe you do, but my God says differently.

For all of you out there who have so much to say about domestic violence and Ray and Janay Rice, I say this to you:  instead of talking about her, how about you start praying for her and learn to just shut up.

(Sorry, but I had to say it and keep it real.)



© Videllia Davis – “I Am Me”. All Rights Reserved.

These Are My Thin Mints, Get Your Own!

Picture courtesy of The Onion.com
Picture courtesy of The Onion.com

(A Story about Abuse)

Mr. “Prince Charming”

Well, it finally happened.  I had finally met a great guy! OMG! He was charming, smooth, handsome, and CHOCOLATE. He said and did all the right things to make me feel like a Queen. He even said he had a relationship with Christ-which was a huge turn on for me. Wow! Finally, a man that had it all.

Within a month he told me he loved me. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. One whole month? Hey, I’m just that good! (Haha) No-I thought it happened too fast too…but true love knows no time boundaries right? I mean here is this guy who loves me for me, flaws and all. Compared to my last relationship, I desperately wanted to feel loved. Was I a little insecure? You bet. But here was this man who gave me comfort in my insecurities. I thought he was perfect so I uttered the words “I Love You” right back to him…and we lived happily ever after… Continue reading “These Are My Thin Mints, Get Your Own!”