3 Toxic Statements to Stop Saying to Our Women

Hey loves! Today we are talking about a few toxic statements that men say to and about women. Let’s get right into it.

You’re too emotional.

Women hate this. Like, H-A-T-E this. Saying a woman is too emotional makes her feel like her emotions and thoughts  don’t matter or like you are trying to diminish her feelings. Don’t be so quick to write her or her feelings off. Even if you don’t agree with her emotions, try hearing her out and seek to understand how she feels. 

If you love me, you will…

Stop using love to manipulate women into doing things you want them to do. Yes, love requires sacrifice and compromise (in a healthy relationship) but trying to convince a woman to do things she doesn’t want to do in the name of love is not only toxic but it’s manipulative, selfish and controlling. If you find that you all don’t share the same values, then move on and find someone who does. However, do not try to manipulate her into getting your way by appealing to her heart strings. This ain’t Burger King so you don’t always get to have it your way.

All women are the same.

Fellas be careful not to classify all women into one category. Just like you don’t want to be lumped into one category, neither do our women. Stop assuming they are like your ex or the last woman that hurt you. More importantly, if you really believe all women are the same, why do you keep dating them?

3 Toxic Statements to Stop Saying to Our Men

Hey loves! Today we are talking aboit a few toxic statements that women say to and about men. Let’s get right into it.

You’re not a real man unless you…

Women are quick to base a man’s manhood on some kind of conditional statement. You’re not a real man unless you make XX amount of money. You’re not a real man unless you pay all my bills. And so forth. STOP IT! A man’s worth, value and identity as a real man is not based on your conditions but God’s conditions. Learn the power of your tongue and be careful of the words you say to your man.

All men are dogs.

Ladies be careful not to classify all men into one category. Just like you don’t want to be lumped into one category, neither do our men. Stop assuming they are like your ex and if you really believe all men are dogs, why do you keep dating them?

Man up!

Whether you are referring to them showing emotion or something else, this is a sure way to diminish and belittle that man. We have to move away from this stigma that men can’t show emotion or that any sign of emotion is considered a weakness. That is why we have so many depressed men, etc. because our society doesn’t encourage men to express themselves or when they do, we call them “weak”. Imagine how different this world could be if men could truly be vulnerable without fear.

Dateless for 365 Days and Counting

Happy New Year loves! I am officially back with a brand new video! I took an entire year off from dating last year! I know, I know…not a conventional way of thinking but in this video I share 3 things that led me to take that break AND why you may want to consider it too (maybe not a whole year haha but a little break). Thanks in advance for watching!😘

I Deserve the King of Wakanda

Hey loves, it’s Videllia. Your favorite relationship and motivational blogger and I’m back with another blog post called “I Deserve the King of Wakanda” and so do you.  You can listen to the podcast below or keep scrolling to read the full post.

Podcast:

Full Post:

BlackPanther59e4e6c10eaf4.jpg

I love the movie Black Panther. I saw it 3 times in theaters, once on an airplane and plan to buy the DVD lol. What I loved outside of the amazing storyline, great acting and eye candy was the way T’Challa treated the women in the movie, specifically Nakia.

For those that don’t know, in the storyline Nakia can be seen pursuing her own dreams of saving people while T’challa pursues her. Not only does he pursue her but he protects her. Not only does he protect her but he wants to provide for her. Not only does he provide for her but you can see how he loves and cherishes her. How he respects and admires her dreams and her vision for the world. Not only does he cherish her but you can see he makes her aware of his intentions. He hints at her being the Queen in Wakanda and to me their love relationship was so cute.

TchallaKillmonger_MarvelStudios_Getty_Ringer.0
(www.theringer.com)

While it is fictional of course being based on fictional characters it really got me to thinking – I deserve the King of Wakanda. I deserve a T’challa. No not in the sense of I need a man to be able to transform into some amazing super hero and kick butt all across the world but in the sense of everything he stood for.

I deserve a man who pursues me.

I deserve a man who protects me.

I deserve a man who wants to provide for me (as I want to provide for him).

I deserve a man who loves and cherishes me, who respects and admires me and my dreams. Who will support me in my dreams and figure out ways to help me pursue those things just as T’Challa supported Nakia.

I deserve a man who makes his intentions known – who let’s me know that I’m the one he wants and the one he wants to be with.

And sis, I’m here to tell you, that you do too! We deserve the King of Wakanda. We deserve a king. Now we can fight over which one we get, you can take T’Challa and I can take Killmonger (he was a King for a little bit there lol) No but in all seriousness, I’m here to encourage you to start believing that you deserve better than what you’ve been getting from these lames out here. If that man isn’t pursuing you with intention, isn’t protecting your heart, not showing you the love of God or treating you according to your worth, then that man just may not be the King God has designed for you.

You have to learn to be strong enough to wait for God’s best. I believe that there is a man out there who was specifically designed just for you and you need to stay encouraged. Your King is coming! Wakanda Forever.

Alright Queens, I hope that encourages you! And as always, be sure to like, comment, subscribe and share with a friend! Together, let’s empower one another to be Queens.

~Videllia