You can listen to this post as a podcast or you can read it in full. Both are included below.
As a newly single Queen (again), I’ve been spending a lot of time pausing and reflecting on my past relationship. His mistakes as well as mine. Red flags that I may have ignored. Feelings that I have now that I’m free of the relationship.
But most importantly, I’ve been focusing on surrounding myself with positive affirmations. At 30 years old, this is not my first rodeo lol. This is not my first breakup. Hell, this isn’t my second, third or fourth breakup. Yes I’ve had my share of tears and sad moments but I’ve been here before and I’ve seen God bring me through. After taking some time to cry it out, talk it out and write it out, I decided the best course of action was to focus on the positivity around me and the blessings God has for me. In doing so, I’ve been spending a lot of time in God’s word so that he can remind me of the promises he has for me. You know sometimes when we go through a breakup, our minds tend to focus on negative statements. Things like:
- Oh look, you just had another failed relationship.
- This breakup was all my fault. What did I do wrong?
- Why wasn’t I good enough?
- You know you’re getting older right? You better find someone soon because you’re running out of time.
Yes, even I had these same thoughts immediately after my relationship and with each passing day God has reminded me of his promises. In all transparency, one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with lately is this idea that I’m getting too old. I must admit at 30 years old, single with no kids, I have had those thoughts like Lord my biological clock is ticking or Lord when is it going to be my time? I sometimes even get discouraged when looking at friends or family members who are married with children, who seem to just be enjoying this new season of life that I can’t even relate to or understand. But in her devotional “Thrive” by Lina Abujamra, she states that one of the most destructive lies single Christians can believe is that we’re too old: too old to marry, too old to date, and too old to thrive. She reminded me that “when it comes to God and his plans for our lives, the truth is as long as we are still breathing we are never too old”!
Wow. So . I’m not too old for God to bring his promises to fruition in my life? You darn right I’m not and NEITHER ARE YOU!
I know being a single King or Queen on this journey of stillness and waiting on God to bring you his best is tough! I’m living it right along with you. It’s very easy to get discouraged on this journey and to feel like you are running out of time to get the desires of your heart – and that extends beyond relationships. Maybe you feel like you’re too old to go to school or to pursue a dream that you’ve always wanted. Well, regardless if it’s love or life, you’re not too old for God to give you the breakthrough you’ve been praying for or for him to give you the desires of your heart. God’s timing is and will always be perfect. We cannot see it right now because we are looking through our fleshly colored glasses – you know the ones full of loneliness and despair – but God knows ultimately what’s best for us. Don’t give up and don’t give in to the negativity that the enemy tries to put in your mind. Don’t believe those negative thoughts that you aren’t good enough, that something is wrong with you or most importantly, that you are running out of time. God holds all power in his hands and he is able to do far more than we could ever ask or think. Our job is to continue to have hope and faith that his promises will be fulfilled in our lives.
I don’t know about you but I’ve been through far too much heartache to give up on God now. If he could give Abraham a son at 100, he can do it for me. If he could have Moses lead the Israelites to freedom at 80, he can do it for me. We don’t even hear much about Jesus and his ministry until he reaches the age 30. So if God can do it for all of these people at various stages of life I know he can do it for this thirty-year old flyy single Queen named Videllia. And I know he can do it for you too!
Stay encouraged loves!