A few weeks ago, a friend text me. “How do I tell the truth without sounding judgmental or super saved?”
“What happened?” I replied.
“One of my friends is considering getting pregnant because she wants to have a baby before 30. She’s not married. I’m just like you want God to bless you to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy but you want to go out of his will to get it.” She stated.
The conversation continued with us both first acknowledging that neither of us have been perfect on this single journey. However, one thing that we have both learned is that when you want God to come in your situation, you have to also be willing to live by his standards.
As Christian women, we are quick to pray to God to bring that God-fearing, albeit, super attractive, husband in our lives. We want a one-size fits all solution -send us a man QUICKLY and we’ll be good to go!
That is NOT the case. While it is very easy to ask for God to come in our situations and change them, the challenging part is truly giving it all to God even if He doesn’t respond to us the way we want Him to. Ouch huh? As I’m writing this, I find myself laughing when I think about the err of my own Christian ways. When I was younger, I thought that I was surrendering all to God. Then, when things didn’t go my way, I’d take back control over the very thing I had given to God.
This is equally true for many people out there. We tend to put God on these spiritual deadlines. Lord, I’m going to wait for you to send me a man. Three weeks later, we’re swiping right or left, pulling out the freakum dress or scrolling through our phone’s contact list, contemplating if we should reach out to our ex or the guy we specifically saved as “Don’t Answer” because we know he only wants one thing. Ladies that is NOT the definition of surrender.
By definition, surrender means to “agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc. because you know you will not win; to give the control or use of something to someone else.” Total surrender to God means giving God ALL of your situation no matter what the outcome may be because you know that without God, you will not be successful by your own measures. John 15:5 (NIV) says, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Without God in our lives and in our situations, we can do absolutely nothing. All things are made possible because of Him! (Matthew 19:26).
The young lady above had done what many of you (and I) do daily. She put God on a deadline. In all actuality, she gave God an ultimatum. Lord I’m going to trust you up and until I reach the age of 30 and if you haven’t made things happen in my life by then, I’m going to take back control and create my family myself.
How many of you can relate to this?
Maybe it’s not having a baby but maybe it’s something else. Maybe it’s just the act of making a baby J. “Lord I’m going to remain celibate to you until you send me the man you want.” That was my commitment. And I must admit that when I initially made that commitment, I did it EXPECTING God to deliver a man wrapped in a bow in a year or two. Honey let me tell you, I am STILL waiting haha. And it has been some YEARS now (pray saints! Haha). While it has been very challenging, I have not compromised (much) while I’m waiting. (Still a work in progress over here J.)
And still, maybe it’s not sex for you. Maybe it’s something else. However, no matter what it may be, do not get discouraged on this journey. I know the world will have you think your clock is ticking but remember that with God all things are possible. Learn to truly surrender your situations COMPLETELY to Him and remain patient in your waiting. Your very best husband can only be hand-picked by our very best Creator. And He wants to make sure that he is just right for you! J
“All to Jesus, I surrender. All to Him, I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him. In his presence daily live. I surrender all.”