Episode 2 – “Finally Got A Man…Now What?”

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So as is common among women – we finally get into a new relationship after having been single for so long and now we don’t know what to do with ourselves.  We love the idea of being with this new man however, there’s still some lingering doubt in our minds.  Is this the one? Could this be real? What if he isn’t telling me the truth? What if he isn’t where he says he is? What if he is cheating on me? What if he is losing interest in me? What if he is just another man that’s going to break my heart?

Well I’m hear to tell you to STOP. Yes, STOP ladies.  Like, first of all, if you have allowed yourself to get into a relationship with a trashbag dude then this podcast isn’t for you. Lol. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’s going to work out, that you two are going to make it or any of those other things that your friends are telling you when they need to be telling you the truth. If he was a trashbag dude from the beginning you won’t be able to change him.  Men change when they are ready, not when YOU are ready. Point. Blank. Period. Sorry to break it to ya sis.

This podcast, however, is for the ladies out there who have found themselves a good man but also find themselves hurt from previous relationships and realize that all of that doubt that creeps into their minds stems from their own fears. Ladies – you cannot allow the pain of the past or the fear of the present to dictate your future! 

If this man hasn’t given you a reason to believe that he isn’t telling you the truth, that he’s cheating on you or that he’s going to break your heart then why are you giving so much energy to those negative thoughts?! Your relationship is going to pass you by and you’re not going to be able to enjoy it because you’re so busy focusing on the what ifs.

Even more – are you taking all of that negative energy to your man?  Are you constantly asking him where he’s at and who he’s with?  Are you constantly checking your phone craving a text message from him because you fear he’s lost interest?  Are you constantly asking him about life goals and where he sees a future going because you’re unsure if he’s the one?

Look ladybug, I’m happy that you finally got a man.  Heck I finally got my man in January 2017 after a four-year hiatus!  BUT if you are not fully healed from your past then you are already bringing complications into your relationship. I speak from experience. Instead of wondering where he’s at and who he’s with, you need to ask yourself why are you insecure?  Instead of wondering if he’s the one, you need to ask yourself why you are trying to rush into marriage?  Instead of wondering if he’s losing interest in you and checking your phone every five minutes, you need to channel that energy and find yourself some things to do outside of your man!  Ladies trust me when I tell you, men aren’t as emotional as us so they don’t realize that texting throughout the day, talking everyday etc. are things we like.  BUT, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t thinking about us.  In my opinion, they just do a better job about balancing their life and their priorities while we are guilty of making them our top and only priority.  Find yourself some hobbies boo and I bet you’ll begin to see things differently.

All in all I just want to encourage you to focus on healing first, to let go of the pains of your past and fear of being hurt and enjoy what life is presenting right in front of you – your man.

Lord knows I’m enjoying every bit of my man and I hope that you enjoy every bit of yours.

Until next time queens, be empowered.


This has been a Videllia Davis production. Be sure you are following me on social media @only1lady_v or on my website: http://www.only1v.com

Published by Videllia

I'm just a young woman trying to make a difference in the lives of others.

2 thoughts on “Episode 2 – “Finally Got A Man…Now What?”

  1. This really spoke to me. I’ve been with my man for a long time now, but because of previous relationships, I’ve basically been in this mind zone of what if he turns out like the others?? And now I get what you mean by if he hasn’t given any reason to worry, why worry?.
    I feel like it could also be a sort of insecurity that must have stirred up from past relationships as well.

    I really enjoyed listening. !

    xo, Eleanor

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for listening Eleanor! I had the same thing with my current boyfriend. I was so paranoid in the beginning but I realized that a) he is NOT those other men and b) if I spend all this time being paranoid then I could never just truly enjoy the relationship in front of me. Making the decision to let go of my insecurities was the best thing that I could’ve done and here we are, still together some 10 months later! It’ll be hard of course but it is definitely worth it! Good luck to you!!! 🙂


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