“Catfished”

“I’m 29. Single. Woman of God. Believer in the Christian faith. But the men I meet? Boy, oh boy!”

Haha did you miss me?  I actually haven’t been going on dates in awhile so there was no need to journal my dating chronicles.  That is…until I got catfished. Yes, me. Catfished!

I decided to look up the definition of catfished online and low and behold, I found the following definition: “lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona”.  Yep, I had gotten catfished.  So let’s get this story started shall we…

Once upon a time in a land not so far away…

It was the end of busy season – the most ridiculously busiest time of year for an accountant like myself.  It usually falls between January and May, typically corresponding with tax season. I was overworked and tired and needed a pick me up.  Luckily, one of my homegirls from Chi-town decided she was going to come into town for some fun. I hadn’t seen her in ages.  Needless to say, we got all dolled up and hit the town.

We ended up at a lounge.  We didn’t want the club vibe but some place where we could dance a little bit and still be able to sit down to rest our aching feet (who said heels were a girls best friend?).  It wasn’t soon before I realized I had caught the attention of a nice, older gentleman.  He came over and introduced himself and ordered drinks for my friends and I. He and I danced the night away.  He was a nice guy – not too old but just right.  We went outside to chat and get to know each other better.  I told him I was an accountant and he told me he was a principal for an elementary school. Nice!  Older, handsome and successful, I thought.

A few days later, he invited me out on a date at a local bar/restaurant.  He saw to it that I had drinks and ordered my food (although the food was never delivered to me).  He walked in proudly with me on his arm and introduced me to his friends as wifey (BIG RED FLAG lol – my friends all know, I don’t play the wifey thing when I don’t even know you. Needless to say I just grinned and beared it).  Mr. Principal continued to work his way around the room, leaving me at a table with his friends.  Soon, I got up to go to the restroom. I come back and Mr. Principal was gone.  I asked his friends where he was – but no one knew.  Fifteen minutes later, he called me and said someone had broken into his school and the police wanted him to get back there immediately.  I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just wait for me to come out of the restroom to tell me that or at least offer to walk me to my car and I voiced that. (Wasn’t like I was going to be in the restroom forever!) He claims he just freaked out because nothing had happened like that before and promised to make it up to me.  I knew something didn’t feel right about the situation so I put a mental note in my head and went home. (STRIKE 1)

The Principal invited me out again a few weeks later.  When I responded, however, he did not respond. A day later, he said he did respond so, me, being who I am, I’m like screenshot it lol.  He then preceded to take a screenshot but claimed he couldn’t do it while on the phone. His phone was more high-tech than mine so I knew if I could do it, he could do it too. (STRIKE 2)

Nonetheless, I just let it go. I mean, no harm no foul. No sense in making an issue out of nothing right? A few weeks later, it was time for my phone upgrade.  Well with Verizon, when you get a new phone, you get a 10 day period to try out this caller ID feature that comes with the new phone. No way to opt out. So after I got my new phone, I realized that not all of my contacts transferred over. I was too lazy to manually do it so whenever people called/text, I just asked who it was.  Finally, one day the Principal called me. Except the name that he had given me wasn’t the name that popped up on the caller ID. So I asked him – “who is ‘John Doe’”. He said he didn’t  know who that was and why was I asking him. I explained to him that Verizon had this feature that shows the caller ID of an incoming call. He responded, “oh okay, well John Doe is my father.” Naturally I’m like wait what? You just said you didn’t know who that was.  He just repeated – that’s my father. So I asked him again – are you sure? He said yes.

Now given that he had already lied to me about not knowing the name, my Carmen Sandiego detective skills were kicking in full effect! The only thing that I knew about him was a) his first name b) he was a principal and the city his school was in and now c) his dad’s name.

So to Google I went! I typed in “John Doe – ABC City” and would you guess what happened? His father didn’t pop up! Nope! It was him! His picture popped up under the name John Doe AND he wasn’t even a principal! He was a second grade teacher!  Done lied this whole time lol.

Needless to say, I didn’t talk to the principal, second grade teacher, John Doe or whoever he was again. To be honest, it didn’t bother me that he wasn’t a principal. I have the utmost respect for everyone working in education in any capacity and I’m never the kind of woman to judge someone for their job.  My issue with him were the LIES!!! We were not a couple. We had barely even met. But if you are lying to someone you don’t even know about things that you don’t have to lie about that pretty much sums up how you will interact with them in the future. I’m just saying…

So…looks like another one bit the dust haha. Until next time!

~V.Davis