“When You Mess Up”

Given that it’s the end of the year and we are all evaluating our how we did this year compared to our goals, I wanted to write something to encourage you all in case you didn’t necessarily hit all of your spiritual goals this year-especially when it comes to relationships. Be encouraged!


Do you struggle with perfection? I know I do. Everyone I meet puts me on a pedestal and they have high expectations of what I should do, how I should do it and when I should do it. At work, they expect me to never be late on an assignment. In my personal life, they expect me to always look/act a certain way. In relationships, they expect me to know exactly what they want and what they are thinking; and if I do anything outside of someone’s expectations, then they make me feel like I’ve done something so horribly wrong. Does that sound familiar?

Thank God.Thank God that ONLY HE is God. You see, people are way less forgiving of others than God is. Yet, when we come to God and offer up repentance, his forgiveness is immediate. You no longer have to walk with your head held down in shame because you didn’t live up to someone else’s expectation of you.

 You only need to make sure that you align yourself with the will of God.

So what does this have to do with relationships? Over the past few months, I’ve shared several messages about relationships and trusting in God to bring you that man/woman that He has for you. However, I didn’t spend much time offering any comfort for those who may “mess up “on their journey. You see, sometimes you may have to interact with a lot of frogs before you get to meet Prince Charming. You may think these men are the one and you start to slowly let your guard down. The vow of celibacy that you once had goes out the window. You start attending church less. You start giving into the temptations and desires of your flesh instead of remembering that we are to honor God with our bodies.

You interact less with your friends and more with your new boo. Instead of going home at night, you may start to engage in a few Netflix and Chill sessions. Then, one day, you wake up and you realize that man was really just a frog and now you regret all that you had given into that relationship. You regret that painful detour that took you off the path of your spiritual walk. A walk that was so closely aligned with Christ at first but now feels so aloof and disconnected.

You know that you want to change but you don’t have anyone who you can confide in because you know your friends, family, co-workers, associates etc. will judge you given they have you on this pedestal. Well, I’m here to let you know that “messing up” is a part of life. People mess up all of the time—yes, even the very ones that judge you. God does not call us to be perfect people. In fact, there are numerous stories in the bible where God uses an imperfect person to do extraordinary things. Just look at the stories of Noah, Sarah, Jacob, Moses, David, Saul/Paul, the Twelve Apostles, etc.

God doesn’t call the qualified – instead He qualifies those He calls!

So while you may have “messed up,” know that who you are is not defined by your past mistakes, actions or “mess-ups.” God still loves you and He still WANTS to use you for His glory. All you have to do is ask God for His forgiveness and then walk in the grace and mercy that He so bountifully gives to you.

Will others still judge you? Yes. Will others still reject you because of your mistakes or what they perceive as mistakes? Yes. Will others be less forgiving of you? Yes. Unfortunately, that’s just how our world operates. However, the ONLY thing that matters is how God and God alone views you. If you can learn to accept and walk in His forgiveness then I believe no matter how you “mess up” or how “messed up” you are on this single journey, you will always be able to pick yourself back up and keep going—forgetting what’s behind and pressing forward towards what lies ahead. (Phil 3:13)

(This blog was first published by Videllia on a newmedre.com).

Published by Videllia

I'm just a young woman trying to make a difference in the lives of others.

2 thoughts on ““When You Mess Up”

  1. Philippians 3:13 is one of my favorite scriptures. I’m learning not to live in my mistakes but build from them, keep going. Better or bitter. We always have that choice.

    Liked by 1 person

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