Do you wanna know a secret? I absolutely, positively, LOVE watching black movies lol. Any of those movies that pop up on Netflix, you know those straight-to-DVD movies? I watch them all.
So today, I watched one called, “Love the One You’re With”. If you enjoy supporting black actors/actresses, then I definitely would suggest it. Anyway, not to give the movie away, but one of the lines said in the movie was that “true love doesn’t hurt, it’s our imitation of love that does.”
Did you catch that or nah? Let me repeat…
“TRUE LOVE DOESN’T HURT, IT’S OUR IMITATION OF LOVE THAT DOES!”
Man, don’t I know a thing or two about some imitation love! If you’ve read some of my crazy dating stories, then yeah, you will see that I’ve found imitation love across every mountain, bridge and valley. I could never understand why that love hurt so much. I could never understand why those men hurt me in the ways that they did or why those relationships crashed and burned the way that they did. I mean, I’m a good woman. Ride or die. Not afraid to let a man be a man and show him respect. But still, even as a worthy woman, love broke my heart, cut my heart, crushed my heart, damaged my heart and almost killed any chance of future love.
You see, now I understand why it didn’t work with those fools (oops, I mean, those guys). That wasn’t real love. It wasn’t even close. That was this imitation love that I had created in my head. This fantasy land that I lived in where I ignored the man’s actions and listened to his words. This fairytale world that I envisioned where I turned every man into Prince Charming. A world where I didn’t seek God or his direction but instead tried to make my own decisions by myself.
In that world, love could’ve been whatever I wanted it to be. But one thing it could never be was true. True love doesn’t hurt the way those men hurt me. Now some of you may be reading this and thinking she’s wrong, true love can hurt. But I still disagree. Sure, there may be some ups and downs but true love does not hurt. You want to know how I know? Because God is love. 1 John 4:8 says, “whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love”. And there is no more perfect or truer love than the love of God. And we know that God’s love does not hurt or harm us. Instead it protects and cherishes us. God’s love is patient, it’s kind. It does not envy or boast and it’s not proud. God’s love is not self-seeking or easily angered and it definitely does not keep record of wrongs. God’s love protects, trusts, hopes and always perseveres. God’s love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, paraphrased). God’s love is the perfect example of what true love really is. And because God’s perfect and true love does not hurt us, then a true love sent by God, when it finds us, will also never hurt us.
Tonight, I take comfort in that. Hopefully, you can too.
(P.S. I literally just typed all of my thoughts within a matter of minutes and instead of editing this post, I decide to post my raw emotions, instead of trying to turn this into some story with fancy words and colorful illustration. I hope that my raw words and emotions can encourage someone out there who may be feeling a bit down waiting on love to find them…)